The Old Man & The Frog

An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any sexual favour you desire!" The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket. "Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog. "I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

All aboard the Skylark!

Bought this on ebay earlier in the week, described as 'not working - missing parts'.  Turned out the driveshaft in the electric motor that turned the clockwork was sheared in half. Also there were a couple of 'handles' missing from the outside of the case. I removed the original workings and replaced them with a simple, battery powered quartz movement out of a modern kitchen clock. Luckily the original hands fitted with a little persuasion. Just finished turning new handles on my mini-lathe; they're the ones at 5 & 7.

Who makes stickers ?

Quick! Before he changes it!!

I realise MZs aren't the most well-known of motorcycles but I just had
to message the seller of this petrol tank and tell him that it wasn't a
'ZWE' tank; it was an MZ one with the badges on upside down. 

The coolest grasshopper in the world.

Riding to work this morning I looked in the mirror and saw a grasshopper hanging on to the glass. I thought, "Aaw bless..let's see how long he can hold on for." Got onto the A40; 40mph, 50mph, 60mph..he hung on, peering over the edge of the mirror into the airstream but hanging on. Got to work, 15 miles later and he was still there. Went out at lunchtime and the little fellow had gone. Got home at 5pm, opened the gate and looked round at the front of the 'bike - there he was under the speedo!
Officially the coolest grasshopper in the world.

Kramer knives

 A guy called Bob Kramer was working in kitchens, one day he realised he knew nothing about the knives
he was using and switched professions. First he toured the country sharpening knives for chefs, then as he learned more he started making his own. Then he studied for 6 years to become a Master Bladesmith - one of only 22 people in the world to carry that title.
Now, he's got a 12 month waiting list and one of his 8" chef's knives will set you back $2400. When he's ready to make more he randomly picks names from the long list of eager buyers.

                                                            

                                                               http://kramerknives.com